3-42-80… and everything in-between

3-42-80. No, that is not my locker combination. Those are the ages of my youngest daughter, me, and my father. A span of 77 years across 3 generations and right now, I am trying to successfully navigate all of them.

There really isn’t a much better example of mixing pods. Balancing work and life (3 generations of it), while trying to achieve personal and professional goals. I’m striving to be an engaged husband and father, level up in my career, and ensure my parents are getting the support they need. Sometimes it feels like it’s a gravy train of transitions with one leading into the other and I never an opportunity to settle in. I’m starting to see why people gain weight in their 40s (don’t worry, my diet starts tomorrow).

This blog is about sharing insights and there are plenty of those to go around. Although, there are times that I have more questions than insights.

Parenting

Our girls are 3 and 5-years-old. These are super fun ages. Maggie has embraced learning to read, write, and do math in kindergarten. Addie is learning that you have to keep your hands and your lips to yourself in pre-school (no kissing in the playhouse!) It’s amazing to watch them learn so much about our world and remind us that there is nothing cooler than seeing things for the first time.

It also turns on the internal monologue and I start asking myself questions.

• Am I staying present?
• What is the right amount of discipline?
• How do I not wind them up at night before bed? (It just happens)
• How do we not coddle our kids and allow them to learn by trial and error?
• Will I make it through ages 13 and 14? (Can’t wait to see those blogs!)
• How do I ensure we have a lifelong relationship?

I learned from watching the Pixar movie, ‘Inside Out’, that there are core memories and I want to make them good ones. Looking back at some of my favorite core memories as a kid, they weren’t architected, they just happened.

Adulting

Parenting, working, husbanding, friending, mentoring, communitying… It seems like every day is jammed packed. I am so fortunate that Katie is an awesome partner and we continue to grow together, rather than apart as we approach 20 years of marriage. I attribute this to our support of each other across all of our pods. However, that doesn’t mean that I’m not constantly wondering,

• Am I living up to my role as a husband?
• Do I have more to contribute to my community?
• Am I fostering important connections and friendships?
• Am I living up to my potential professionally?
• Am I actually being the leader that I desire to be?
• How could I make a bigger impact?

Every day, it feels like I have to re-learn that time is our most valuable resource. (Yep, even at age 42). I’m grateful for the moments that I use time as an amazing asset. I can also get frustrated by my mismanagement of it, regretting the opportunity costs associated with some of my decisions. Prioritization should be easy… right? As explored in another blog about this time last year, is it over committing or under prioritizing?

Aging

We spend a lot of time and energy preparing for our golden years in the physical and financial sense. But I’ve realized there is a gap in how we prepare for the toll aging takes on our mentality. Giving up some of our most beloved activities like skiing and golfing, to more common daily activities like driving and yard work. We spend decades building up our confidence and ‘being the rock’, which makes it difficult when you can’t do the things that made you, you. My parents did an awesome job planning for their future over the years, but it definitely has me exploring new questions?

• Am I showing the right amount of empathy?
• What does this transition look like?
• Am I ensuring enough time with their grandchildren?
• Am I doing enough for our own retirement and post-retirement planning?
• Am I carving out time for my siblings, in-laws, and extended family?
• Do I really understand how fast time really goes?

I’m not trying to turn this blog into the song, Cat’s in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. However, I’m hoping that just like that song and others like it, it provides space to take stock of our priorities. (I apologize now for that song ringing in your head for the next 12 or so hours)

Ok… So maybe there are a few insights?

When I take a step back and look at 3-42-80, maybe it is a combination to unlocking great insights. Maybe this is where that whole wisdom vs. knowledge thing shows up in life.

• Being present should never be understated
• Knowing thyself is a lifelong journey
• Life is complicated and gray, not black and white
• If it feels like you are over-analyzing, you probably are
• Don’t take yourself so seriously
• Participate and contribute (not someday, today!)
• Find your crew, tribe, and confidants

Honestly, none of these insights are new and have been shared for ages. It’s the application in our daily lives that makes them real. For me, 3-42-80 means that I can go from teaching ABCs to presenting to corporate executives, to discussing long-term care… all before 10:00 a.m.

It makes me laugh when I look back and thought that life got easier the older you got. Wisdom!

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