Tag: life lessons

Am I the man that I was coached to be?

This time of year is always a period of deep reflection for me and this year, it feels deeper, heavier, and more significant. There isn’t a person in the world that’s not impacted by this global pandemic and all of us are experiencing our own personal wins and losses.

I’ve been reflecting on personal role models, their impact on me, and how I apply their lessons as I navigate mid-life with a young family.

One of those was role models was wrestling Coach Ray Barron. He wasn’t just one of mine, he positively impacted thousands of young men and women. We lost Coach in late October, and over the past few months, I have been reminded of the impact he had on his family, along with all the men (and women) across generations of 50 years of coaching.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about the lessons that I learned from Coach on and off the wrestling mat in an attempt to ensure that I am still living up as one of ‘Barron’s Boys’.

Showing UP

  1. Be confident while maintaining humility
  2. You can do it, but you have to believe in yourself first
  3. Be willing to put in the work
  4. Respect everyone. Parents, coaches, teammates, teachers, and your opponent
  5. Your conduct is a reflection of the entire team (or family)
  6. No one person is bigger than the sport (or any organization you take part in)
  7. You are ultimately measured by your heart, not your trophies
  8. Play to your strengths
  9. Challenge yourself, but don’t beat yourself up
  10. Dig deeper, you will find even more than you realized was there

Winning and losing

  1. Win with class and lose with class
  2. There is no better feeling than when you know you gave it your best
  3. You always shake hands with your opponent
  4. You can’t always control the outcome, but you can control how you respond
  5. You can be upset you lost, but you can’t be a sore sport
  6. Never blame the referees
  7. The process matters more than the outcome

Being a Teammate

  1. True companionship lasts forever
  2. Celebrate others success and catch them if they fall
  3. Inclusivity is natural when you sweat together for a common goal
  4. You learn a lot about yourself carrying someone else up a flight of stairs or through other life challenges
  5. Seasons are short, but memories carry on
  6. Seize the opportunity to connect in meaningful ways
  7. Embrace growing together, you will never regret it
Coach played a significant role in shaping life long friendships beyond the wresting mat

I’m sure there are so many additional lessons that others took away from their time with Coach. At the end of the day, when I look back at Coach Barron’s legacy, I think it is very simple. That he just cared.

Coach set up young men (and women) for success no matter where they were in their journey. He had a knack for identifying the kid that could use some confidence just by being part of the program. He helped the most talented reach their full potential to compete for championships. He could also humble those that needed it and transform them in the most positive way.

At the banquet at the end of the season, the seniors would gather at the front of the auditorium. We called it senior goodbyes. He would say some final words about each wrestler and he could never make it through the speeches without shedding tears. He had invested so much time into us as young men and his return on investment was our growth and character that we took into adulthood.

Now that our girls have entered school-aged years, I can see how important it is to consistently pass on all of those lessons that I mentioned above. It’s not always easy and it takes significant commitment. How do I model it, teach it, and celebrate it?

But what if I asked myself each morning, “Am I the man that I was coached to be?” Maybe that’s the right tactic going forward to help me reach my potential. I believe answering that question will shape my everyday intentions, decisions, and actions. Then I can take comfort in being content with the consequences and outcomes that fall into place.

You can read more awesome stories about Coach Barron, learn more about his impact, and support the scholarship in his name at the Ray Barron Strength and Honor Fund.

Who’s teaching who? Lessons from kindergarten on showing up at work

This is Maggie’s first year in Kindergarten and Addie is attending preschool in the same building. Katie has to be at her own school in the morning and I get the awesome privilege to drop the girls off at school before heading out to work.

This was a bit stressful for me. First of all, I have been work-centered for so many years and tended to prioritize work commitments over everything else. So this is a big paradigm shift for this brain of mine. It’s also quite a commute to my client site from our neighborhood. So I show up later now than I used to, and it still feels a bit awkward. The morning is well underway by the time I get there and I don’t have the time to get settled and organized before all the meetings start for the day. I feel rushed and a little bit disheveled.

Dad’s first day of joint drop off

However, throughout the month of September, I found myself enjoying drop off more and more and owning up to it. I’m focusing less on the hustle and bustle of it all, especially how it is impacting me at work, and just taking it in with the family.

Katie, the girls, and their amazing teachers are demonstrating important lessons and providing insights every morning to help me be at my best. I took a step back and reflected on school drop off duty. I think that I can apply these lessons to help me show up better at work.

Here are a few of the insights I have learned so far:

Be Present and Keep Perspective: It’s not lost on me that there is a short window of time when the girls will want to ride to school singing about ‘who stole the cookie from the cookie jar’ and playing ‘eye spy’. I’m pretty sure that I’ll remember these moments a lot longer than I’ll remember whatever my response to that urgent e-mail will be sitting in my inbox. Today only happens once and it takes effort to keep perspective. Some people figure out what matters most through life-changing events. I just wish it didn’t always have to come from something like that.

Mindset Matters: I notice that the girls have a new attitude every day. They don’t carry things with them from the previous day and are very quick to let things go. They’re excited to learn and have an appreciation for their new school experience on a daily basis. What if I focused less on the everyday grind and more about the opportunity to learn something new? Get to know someone a layer deeper? Choose to bring a positive attitude to the office every morning? (I also can’t wait to read this in 10 years when they are teenagers to see if the paragraph above still resonates. It should, but…)

Waiting for the Pre-K door to open

Pre-plan the Night Before: First of all, this insight has the word ‘plan’ in it, so it clearly the one that Katie implemented, not me. It makes a big difference! Katie gets the girl’s clothes laid out and ready to go (sometimes after a pretty intense negotiation with Maggie on what she is going to wear), which saves us all-time in the morning. I’m also trying to apply this one in the workplace and close out the day with the plan for the next day. It helps me start with the highest priority the next morning. (at least some of the time… see the comment above about the urgent e-mail in the inbox).

Routines Rule: Successful school drop off relies on our morning routine and staying on schedule. We’ve figured out that leaving the house 2 minutes late is the difference from a steady stroll up to the classroom door vs. racing to the door before it is shut behind the teacher. (I still haven’t had to do a late check-in at the office, which is my ultimate measure of success. However, I have forgotten the lunch box and I am very thankful for the hot lunch option.) I’m sure there are more routines that I can implement in my work life to be more productive and help stay on schedule. Lord knows my boss would like that.

You Can Eat Breakfast Too: We ensure the girls have enough time to eat a good breakfast before heading to school. (Full disclosure, this doesn’t go perfectly every morning and yes, we sometimes have the containers in the car or something less desirable like a breakfast bar.) Anyway, for all of these years, why did I think it was ok to head out to work without breakfast? I’m noticing a big difference in how I feel throughout the day when I eat in the morning. A decent breakfast, not like the 430 calories in a grande white chocolate mocha. I went through that phase a few years back… one of those and I wasn’t hungry until 2:00.

How We Greet Each Other: The teachers come outside every morning smiling, with high energy, and are very welcoming. They are keenly aware that how they show up impacts how the kids respond. Of course, they have a ton going on in their own personal and professional lives, but the kids would never know it. They put the anxious ones at ease and get all of them excited for the day. This is why small talk has an important place in the workplace. This is where relationships start and build into a foundation. It’s not only about first impressions, but repeated daily interactions with those you work with the closest. It has me thinking about how I can bring more positivity into how I show up at work? How can I create a better environment for me and my co-workers?

Maggie was welcomed with open arms on her first day of school. She has been excited to go ever since.

Give Yourself a Break: Life is busy and stuff happens. Alarms don’t go off, clothes suddenly don’t fit, breakfast burns, the car is super low on gas, traffic is worse than normal, you spill your coffee on your white shirt, your phone is dead, you forget something, … We all have so much going on and we have a stack of ‘if only’s’. Take 3 breaths, think about something to be grateful for, don’t try and make excuses, and give yourself a break.

Overall, school drop off has been going pretty well. However, check-in with me in a couple of weeks. Katie is out of town for back-to-back conferences, so I’ll be flying solo and I am sure that I’ll learn some new lessons. She is the nucleus of our family and does an incredible job running our household. I’m pretty sure the girls will see the fear in my eyes and step up to help as well.

And this is just Kindergarten!