For the past two weeks, the Beatles song, With A Little Help from My Friends, has been running through my head on repeat.
I think it surfaced while I was planning to celebrate another birthday this past week. (Plus, I’m pretty sure I haven’t watched any episodes of the Wonder Years on Nick at Nite.)
The song comes with great memories. Katie put it on a mixtape for me when she went to Indonesia for the summer in 1998 (yes, a mixtape). I wore the tape out listening to our handful of songs that had their own meaning and inside jokes. This one made it on the list because Katie knew early on how important close friendships were to me.
Anyway, I was super excited to get together with some of my closest friends that definitely provided me more than a little help over the years.
- To hold me accountable to my core values
- To make me run when I want to walk
- To listen, but to call me out when it is just bitching and moaning
- To help me dream about the future and ask, ‘why not?’
- To reminisce about the past in order to strengthen our connection
- To make the world feel smaller and my significance feel bigger
- To make memories by thinking big or keeping it small
- To keep me from taking myself too seriously
- To serve as role models
- To provide energy through laughter (at each other’s expense)
- To remind me that I’m not a squirrel (a story for another blog)
But I think the most significant insight that has surfaced over the past couple of weeks is not how do I get by with a little help from my friends, but how do I focus on helping others get by, with a little help from me. I think I have room to grow by giving more to others.
I talked this through out loud last week when I was fortunate to be a guest on Candace’s Everyday Joy radio show. She asked, “If you could go back in time and share advice to the 20-year-old Tony, what would I tell myself ?” My response was to be more humble based on the realization over time that life gets more complex as you get older. I don’t know what fantasy land I was living in 1999, but for some reason, I don’t think I realized how much support I was going to need from friends and family over the past 20 years and now going forward.
This birthday served as a great reminder to thank those that help you get by and to think about how you help others along the way in their journey.
Love the song and the parallel!