Dude… am I a complainer?

I was driving down I-25 jamming out to Alt Nation on Sirus XM and the song Complainer, by Cold War Kids came on the radio. I’ve heard it a few times already and enjoy the tune, but this time I let the lyrics sink in a bit.

You say you want to change this world
Well, do you really believe in magic?
But you can only change yourself
Don’t sit around and complain about it

Now you’re out on your own, don’t know where you belong
Don’t sit around and complain about it
You say you want to change this world
Don’t sit around and complain about it

Cold War Kids, Complainer

A number of thoughts entered my mind. Initially on our macro society (It really feels like we have taken complaining to a new level over the past couple of years… It’s so noisy.) But most of all, I started reflecting on some very personal moments. I began asking myself, am I a complainer?

I’ve always thought of myself as a ‘just do it’ person. I have a lot of pride, strive for personal accountability, and try to rally people around me by being positive. But, I can also complain like the best out there, even when I have the best intentions. Lately, I have been much more aware of catching myself complaining (at home and at work) and trying to shift that energy into action.

Complaining is probably one of the most common ways that most of us mix pods. Especially when it comes to complaining about work at home. It is also the most unproductive time we spend in our day. Think about all the time we would get back in our lives if we were not complaining about work (and the amount of time we would save our families because frankly, they aren’t really that interested in our complaints anyway).

So here are 3 insights that I’ve been thinking about lately whenever the song gets in my head. I thought that I would share them to see if it helps us all complain a little less so that we can get on with changing the world.

Identify the PERSONAL source of the complaints

When I find myself complaining, it’s usually because there is something personal at the root of it. Almost every time.

  • Do I want to improve something?
  • Do I want to be heard?
  • Do I want to be included? (maybe I’m feeling left out?)
  • Do I genuinely want to see change?
  • Do I want to feel empowered?
  • Do I want to be inspired?
  • Do I know the WIFM (What’s in it for me)?
  • Am I competitive and want to win?
  • Am I not part of the decision-making process?
  • Am I taking myself way too seriously?

For so long I’ve struggled with telling myself that it is not personal, it’s just business. Well, then why am I so passionate about things? Why are some of these things so hard to let go? Phil Knight summed it up well in his memoir, Shoe Dog.

“It’s never just business. It never will be. If it ever does become just business, that will mean that business is very bad.”

Phil Knight, Shoe Dog

Once I’m able to identify why something has become so personal, I’m able to shift the mindset from complaining to objectively problem-solving. I start seeing the big picture.

Have empathy, but don’t forget the context

A few years back, my Gallup Strengths Finder had empathy as my #1 strength. I think it was during a time when I was flexing my empathy muscle a lot, but maybe too hard. I was starting to take on every gripe that others had as my own and carried it up to the chain of command. I was trying to model the Tom Hanks character, Captain Miller in the scene in Saving Private Ryan. “That gripes go up, not down”.

I have now learned that you need to be selective about which gripes you are going to take up, and how often. There was a phase in my career when I was trying to influence a change in the organization by just saying things louder and on repeat. I then received some very direct feedback, that “I always tend to frame things in the negative.” Well poop, that wasn’t how I intended to show up. All the behind the scenes cheerleading I did with the team wasn’t recognized by my boss because to him, all I did was bring complaints.

I also didn’t balance all that empathy with everyone involved, including those that I was trying to influence. I didn’t get in tune with the context of the environment or take into consideration the thousands of inputs taking place outside of my perspective.

It’s easy to forget to have empathy for the people that we are trying to influence and change. Whether it’s a boss, a spouse, a co-worker, aging parents, a friend, or sibling. Sometimes we forget to step into their shoes, to understand their goals, risks, and most importantly, their fears. They deserve our empathy as well.

You don’t have to win the conversation, just be clear on what we are solving for

We focus a lot on who is wrong and who is right. But we spend most of our time justifying our actions in order to make ourselves feel better. We want to have the last word to make sure the conversation ends on our terms.

Ohh and by the way, nothing is ever black and white. Big issues are complex, they have a lot at stake, and a ton of considerations. We get so wrapped up in trying to sell our side of the story that we lose sight of basic problem statements. What are we solving for?

If we gave our mind and our mouth a few moments to breath, we would see that we are so busy trying to be right that we are missing an opportunity to listen and get more information. A moment to refocus on the problem that we are trying to solve.

Anyway, I’m sure a few more insights will surface on this one and I hope to catch myself when I get into complainer mode and think about what’s truly behind it. Then shift into a positive and productive mindset to get busy on the steps that make progress on solving the problem.

I’m not totally sure how I can or will change the world, but I do know that I just don’t want to sit around and complain about it!

Addie didn’t know how to articulate it, but she definitely was complaining inside having to pose for this picture.

Celebrating 80 years, gaining insights for the next 40

This past July, we celebrated my dad’s 80th birthday. My mom and siblings organized a big party in the backyard of the home my parents have lived in for almost 50 years. It was great to see such a great turnout of family and friends from across the country and down the street. I got to see folks from all my dad’s pods over the years.

It’s also hard to believe that he has already reached this milestone (and comes with the realization that I’m 42). Our daughter Addie won’t be 3 until this September, so there is nearly a 78-year gap in the birth years across our 3 generations.

The ability to do selfie’s changed in the last 80 years, but the birthday hat is timeless.

It totally blows my mind to think about the amount of change that has occurred during the past 80 years of my father’s lifetime. I have always been fascinated by it, so I thought that I would plot some things out to share some perspective.

Pre-K (Ken)

In the 60 or so years before my dad was born, we had some of the worlds greatest inventions and difficult times. Seriously, only 60 years!

  • 1876 – The telephone (not the one in your pocket)
  • 1878 – The lightbulb
  • 1886 – The automobile
  • 1929 – 1939 – The Great Depression

Over the past 80 years (POST-k)

My dad grew up in the post-WWII era, which saw the country come out of the depression and change the way we live and work.

  • 1939 – The start of WWII
  • 1940 – FM Radio
  • 1950s – TV goes mainstream
  • 1954 – The 4-minute mile
  • 1954 – The Microwave oven
  • 1955-1975 – Vietnam War
  • 1958 – The commercial jet
  • 1961 – First man in space
  • 1962 – Child car seats are introduced
  • 1970 – Introduction of Monday Night Football
  • 1973 – The first cell phone
  • 1974 – The first Rush album
  • 1974 – The barcode
  • 1975 – The concept of global warming is introduced

Then there is the stuff since I was born

  • 1977 – The personal computer
  • 1978 – The Mountain Bike
  • 1979 – The Sony Walkman
  • 1981 – MTV airs
  • 1984 – Van Halen’s 1984 album
  • 1989 – The Worldwide Web
  • 1989 – Nintendo
  • 1991 – End of the Cold War
  • 1998 – International Space Station
  • 2001 – Katie & Tony tied the knot (and Colorado Avalanche won the cup)
  • 2001 – 9/11
  • 2002 – The Bachelor
  • 2004 – Facebook
  • 2005 – Commercialization of GPS
  • 2005 – Amazon Prime
  • 2007 – iPhone launch
  • 2014 – Alexa
  • 2014 – Our Daughter Maggie
  • 2016 – Our Daughter Addie
  • 2018 – Mixing Pods Blog is launched (thanks for reading!)

The insights for the next 40 years.

There is a lot to reflect on after an event like this, some things very personal. But I did want to share some of the insights that I have been pondering.

The only thing constant is change. Apparently, this quote comes from the Greek philosopher Heraclitus of Ephesus, who lived from (535 BC – 475 BC). He must have been a pretty smart dude because he sure did nail it. The pace of technology and change can be scary these days and will only get faster. But look up above, I sure there was fear and angst about using a microwave in your house in 1954 and they thought no one would ever break the 4-minute mile. Music genres have changed, allies and enemies have changed, and the way we view the post-industrial world has changed.

Somethings are timeless. Spending quality time with your family, walking your dog, going for a run (or walk), listening to music. These things will always be available to keep us grounded. Speaking of being grounded, drinking coffee has been around since at least the 16th century. Some of us practice yoga, which has been a thing since 3000 B.C. So in the midst of all this change, make sure to keep some of the timeless classics in your life.

Life is short! and long! It is amazing how fast the days, months, and years seem to go. It’s a daily realization in our house with the kids growing up so fast. But then when you look at a timeline like the one above, you realize how much has happened in your life since the 2nd grade when you were on the swings at the playground, singing Jump and Panama from Van Halen’s 1984 album. (My first tape cassette)

It’s all just mixing pods over time. So in a few weeks, I’m sure that I’ll be walking the dog in the neighborhood, checking fantasy football scores on an iPhone over a wireless network, to see how I am doing with wagers amongst my friends. Kind of like when they launched controlled gambling in Venice Italy in 1638. Some things change, yet stay the same.

Well, I guess it’s time to start planning my mom’s 80th next year!

P.S. I wouldn’t recommend using this blog as a factual reference, these dates came from a number of sources on the internet. Some may be legit, others…

The true power in unplugging!

We took a family vacation in the Colorado mountains earlier this month and I came back truly refreshed with a renewed energy and focus.

And with that introduction, you may be thinking “No duh! That’s the whole point, where have you been? And how is this insightful?”

Well, it’s kind of sad, but I really struggle with totally unplugging mentally from everything going on professionally while on vacation. I’m pretty terrible about taking a day off and based upon what I see and hear from others, I don’t think that I’m alone.

For some of us, it may be FOMO (fear of missing out), a deep-rooted need for accomplishment, or that we just enjoy the work we do. For me, it’s probably a bit of all three and may have started when I got all those perfect attendance awards in elementary school. (I really loved going to school.)

Anyway, I’ve been reflecting back on how I felt during the week that I unplugged here are my top 3 insights:

1) Get in the pool

One of the best places to be present is in a pool. (Especially with kids, and even more so if they can’t touch the bottom of the pool and still learning to swim). There is no ‘halfway’ paying attention. Chances are they are having a blast and so are you. The ‘here and now’ presence in the pool is powerful and provides a refuge from our busy days. The water forms a natural boundary and there is no quick glance at the phone for the latest notification or some other distraction.

Side note: Unfortunately, I’ve noticed that there aren’t enough parents getting in the pool. I have kind of been amazed at how many parents sit and watch me entertain their kids.

Anyway, it’s not just a place those of us with young kids. The water can be energizing and the buoyancy may be just what your overworked body needs. No matter how old you are, getting in the pool and swimming (or maybe just bobbing) may be exactly what you need to get refocused and refreshed.

2) More balance, less integration

I wrote about discovering boundaries a couple of months back. But the insight here is specifically focused during a time that you are supposed to be unplugged. We continue to embrace the shift from a work-life balance mindset to one of work-life integration now that we are connected 24/7. We can take calls, do tasks quickly on our smartphones, and then jump back right back into our personal time.

However, I’m starting to feel the work-life integration concept is a one-way street. There isn’t a lot of life integrating with work, but a whole lot of work integrating with life. Have you ever gone on a trip or even played a simple round of golf with someone that has one foot in the work door? It can be pretty annoying and they are usually the only one that feels it is going just fine.

Those of you that travel every week probably love having WiFi on the plane these days, but are you reading fewer books? It seems like we are so focused at the airport searching for an outlet in order to have the privilege to sprawl out on the floor and charge our devices. Rather, think about the freedom in just reflecting on the trip, the people, the sites, the food, and the cultural experiences.

3) Let the Priorities Surface

The best part of prolonged downtime is that the important things tend to take shape and the real priorities begin to surface. Getting out of the grind and breaking daily routines, allows us to tap into aspirations, dreams, and other realities that we pushed to the back of our minds.

We need to allow time for our thoughts to breathe and that can’t happen if you get tied up in some email or spend 20 minutes doing a task that you honestly thought could be done in 2 minutes. (and then do it again and again).

Giving yourself that important space allows you to discover the top 20% of the things you should care about that give you the most joy, fulfillment, purpose, <insert your favorite adjective (or adverb) here>.

It also reminds me of the questions that a buddy of mine used to ask me when I was overworked and overwhelmed when we were supposed to be having fun. “What are you going to remember a year from now? This experience or that one work task you got done?”

Side note: Be careful with this question, it can be used to justify many actions. Another side note: You never remember the work task a year later.

So, the summer isn’t over yet. I hope you can find some time to totally unplug before the busy fall season is upon us with back-to-school activities, fantasy football, and shorter days.

Hanging out with the family at the top of Vail Mountain. Unplugged and happy!

Mixing pods for a cause!

During the last weekend in June, I joined my company’s team (The Perficient Peddlers) to participate in the Bike MS Colorado event to fundraise for those impacted by Multiple Sclerosis.

While cycling across the roads of northern Colorado for over 150 miles, so many things came to mind.   In this blog, I thought I would share some of the insights that I’ve been reflecting on since the ride, while also sharing a bit about the event and MS.  (Consider it a personal PSA – Public Service Announcement)

Here is some background information from the MS Society and Bike MS websites. 

Multiple sclerosis (MS) is an unpredictable, often disabling disease of the central nervous system that disrupts the flow of information within the brain, and between the brain and body.  (Here is a quick video on What is MS – National MS Society)

Bike MS is the largest fundraising bike series in the world.  Each year, nearly 75,000 cyclists and more than 6,000 teams ride together to change the world for people with MS.

Bike MS is the fundraising cycling series of the National MS Society and raises more money than any other cycling event for any other cause. To date, Bike MS cyclists, volunteers, and donors have raised more than $1.3 billion to stop MS in its tracks, restore what’s been lost, and end MS forever.

I learned on the ride that the Colorado event is currently the third largest Bike MS event and it happens to start and finish a block from my neighborhood. 

For years, I would watch the teams mobilize and gather early on Saturday morning.  Energy and excitement run high as the music plays, team names are announced, and they head out on the road and make the trek up to Fort Collins. 

Then on Sunday afternoon, the riders come in for the finish.  It’s usually a warm afternoon in June and the final incline of the ride is at the corner of our neighborhood.   I would get a first-hand look at the grit, tenacity, and varying level of experience (and conditioning) of the riders.    Some are smiling, others are not.  They are just minutes from the end of their 150+ mile ride.  

One of my coworkers coming in for the finish

So it has been on my bucket list to participate in the event and I decided this was the year to join the ride.  I am so glad that I did and when I look back on the experience, there are a few insights that come to mind.

It’s supposed to be challenging:  These events are built to challenge your mind and body so that you can have an appreciation for those that struggle with diseases like this.   My father is dealing with Parkinson’s disease, another progressive nervous system disorder that affects movement and has changed his lifestyle in the past few years.  These diseases don’t just impact a person physically, but it impacts the mind and takes a toll on their confidence and overall worldview.

It’s not that hard to unify around the right causes:  Diseases like this don’t target political affiliations, corporations, or any other category we tend to put ourselves in.   MS impacts people across ages, genders, and ethnicities.  This came to mind while riding amongst a diverse group of people wearing all sorts of jerseys representing different companies and organized groups.  There were oil and gas companies like Anadarko and Noble Energy peddling next to NREL (National Renewable Energy Laboratory).    I also noticed Johns Mansville, Ball Corporation, Left Hand Brewery, Charles Schwab, and Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield.  It seemed like I was always behind someone that was part of Patty’s Pack, Meatfight.com, or Crank for a Cure.  No matter what brands we represented on our backs, there was no doubt about what we were all riding for.

Don’t forget the supporting cast:   When you think about events like this, you picture the thousands of cyclists and active participants.   However, this was a well-supported ride with volunteers providing food and beverages along the course to ensure us non-elite athletes could make it through.  There were volunteers directing traffic, fixing flats, and providing bicycle maintenance at the stops and on the course.   Sponsors giving away free goods and it was a well run and organized event and the support was amazing.    Those struggling with diseases like this also rely greatly on their supporting cast.  The disease impacts the lives of everyone around them. 

Part of my supporting cast!

Mixing pods raises the most money:  I was cycling next to co-workers, friends, and strangers.   When I made my request for fundraising support, I tapped into each of my pods and that helped me meet the fundraising goal.  It wasn’t just a work thing or a personal thing.   We are all a part of multiple pods, so don’t be afraid to mix them to get the maximum value in whatever you are doing.    

Spend the money on high-quality bike shorts:  Fortunately, I learned this lesson before this event.  There are some things that it’s ok to go with a cheap alternative.  However, bike shorts is not one of them.

Gratitude and Attitude:   Most of all, I’m grateful for the ability and capability to participate in events like this.  There are a lot of people suffering in this world and just the ability to put on a bike helmet (and those shorts I just mentioned above) is something to be grateful.  Something so simple like riding a bike can influence my attitude and perspective on how lucky many of us are.  It was a reminder not to take anything for granted.

I’m looking forward to a few more events this summer to support other causes including, Run the Rocks to support the American Lung Association and the Denver Broncos 7K to support the National Sports Center for the Disabled. 

Maybe I’ll see you there, or somewhere.

Heading South on Sunday morning across colorful Colorado amongst some people that I don’t know to raise money for the MS Society.

18 lessons from 18 years of marriage

Katie and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary last weekend and have been together for over 22 years. She’s awesome.

Our wedding day was a memorable one, especially for our Denver sports family, as the Colorado Avalanche won game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final about 300 yards away from the reception.

Earlier this week, a coworker asked if I had any insights or secrets to a long marriage. Well, since I mix pods, I rattled a few of the first things that came to mind.

So after having some more time to think about it, I thought I would share 18 lessons that I think have played a role in our marriage.

Disclaimer: I didn’t collaborate with Katie before posting this, so she’ll either be pleasantly surprised by my spontaneity, or I may have to append a lesson #19, check with your wife before posting 18 lessons from your marriage on the internet!

18 lessons that I learned from 18 years of marriage

  1. Have things you do together, have things you do on your own
  2. There are different stages of life you’ll go through together, embrace it
  3. Don’t go to bed mad (this is one of Katie’s rules)
  4. Embrace the in-laws (I married a whole family (and extended family))
  5. Never take her perfect last bite (also known as the Katie bite)
  6. Things work out better when you set expectations
  7. Show gratitude
  8. Balancing roles of mom, spouse, friend, career, daughter isn’t easy
  9. Don’t always say the first thing that pops in your mind 🙂
  10. Have mutual friends, have your own friends
  11. Celebrate wins
  12. Deliberately grow together
  13. Buy an ear and nose hair trimmer
  14. Go all in to support whatever it is she is passionate about
  15. Work hard at staying engaged and being a good dad
  16. Have a sense of humor and be able to laugh at yourself
  17. Share your goals and dreams with each other
  18. Go for long walks

But the key insight that I want you to take away from this blog is not the 18 things that I listed above, but to think about your own 1,2, 18, or 50 things that you learned from the relationship with your partner.

We were able to catch an Avalanche playoff game this year at the Pepsi Center. The last time they won the Cup was the evening that we tied the knot.

Did she just say the class of 2032?

That was the question (which I already knew the answer), that I asked my wife Katie at Maggie’s pre-school continuation. Yep, our oldest is heading into kindergarten next year. And then, just as I started getting my head around that, a quick glance down in my lap and the realization that makes Addie the class of 2034!

Holy Moly!

So over the next 13-15 years, Katie and I, (along with many of you reading this blog) will be active in helping shape who these smart, fun, and energetic little ladies are today, into the women they will become.

It’s baffling to think how much they’ll learn between now and the time they graduate. Not just about the world around them, but in who they are deep inside and who they want to be their future.

Class of 2032! Currently wants to be a hair dresser, but is discovering her engineering talents

One thing for sure, the world will be a lot different. When my parents graduated high-school (1957 & 1958), Elvis Presley was at the top of the music charts, the average cost of a new house was $12,220.00, and a gallon of gas was 24 cents.

When Katie and I graduated (1995 & 1996), songs like TLC’s “Waterfalls”, Montell Jordon’s, “This is how we do it”, were topping the charts and the average cost of a new house was $113,150.00 and a gallon of gas was $1.09. (P.S. As many great memories I have from this time in my life, a quick google search will remind you it was just as politically charged as today and filled with many unfortunate and tumultuous world events.)

Future class of 2034. The class clown is so empathetic and caring, I’m sure will find herself in a compassion related career

By the time these girls are getting ready to graduate, they may not need to learn how to drive a car and they may talk to their friends telepathically. Who knows what the college landscape will look like by then? (an area I think it about to get majorly disrupted in the coming years). I hope they are fortunate to form the kind of lifelong friendships that Katie and I were able to during this time as well.

Although so many things in the world will change between now and then, there will be many things that will stay the same. There will still be laughter and joy, conflict and disagreements. There will be a need for leaders to emerge and rally others around important causes. There will be people that care and those that need to be cared for. There will always be a need for connection and the need to love and feel loved.

So I go back to an activity that I did in Daddy Boot Camp 5 years ago (yes, I went to that upon Katie’s strong recommendation). The activity was to write down two words that you want your kids to describe you with when they adults. Mine were engaged and supportive.

So over the next decade and a half, I think that if I stay the course with those two words and are engaged and supportive of the girls, they will be well positioned to celebrate their graduations and ready to explore their next steps based on their own unique and genuine world view.

Preschool continuation for Maggie in 2019! Watch out future, these girls are coming for you!

I guess boundaries are important to be productive

I really wasn’t good at coloring between the lines when I was a kid. I don’t know if it was an artistic skill thing or the ability to sit still long enough to focus on the art. Actually, I think it was a little bit of both.

Our girls provided a visual of my struggles at a diner in Glenwood Springs a couple of months ago. Maggie was focused and committed to coloring on the kid’s menu. However, Addie was too busy to sit still and wanted to stir up a little laughter.

While Maggie focused on the coloring, our mischievous Adeline was not to be tamed by a few crayons and a kids menu

Anyway, I’ve been feeling stretched a bit thin and not as focused lately. I think it is a combination of my commitments across multiple pods, my trouble sitting still, along with my serious FOMO issues.

I hear that setting clear boundaries is a good tool to prevent this from happening. However, you have probably picked up that as a guy that writes about mixing pods, I have challenges with boundaries.

My challenge with boundaries begins with a bit of overcommitment. I was on a project once and the lead said, “you would be surprised what we can get done in two weeks”. He was right, we got a ton done and all it took was 12-14 hour days and weekends. Without boundaries and enough time and resources, anything is possible.

I’m also willing to admit that my tendency to overcommit is self-imposed. I mean, saying no is easy, right?

I’m really good at saying no. Well sort of…

  • “No problem”
  • “No worries!”
  • “No, I got it”
  • “No, don’t worry about it”
  • “No, I didn’t do it yet, but I will”

I tend to commit to things with a ‘Ceteris Paribus’ mindset. You may remember this Latin phrase, meaning “all other things being equal” or “other things held constant” or “all else unchanged”. (Well, I actually didn’t remember it either. However, the concept always stuck with me, but I had to look up the Latin and I doubt I pronounce it correctly.)

Anyway, it’s the last definition that gets me in the most trouble because nothing in our life ever stays unchanged. So I’ll commit to something with just the lens of that activity, not factoring in my commitments across other areas, many of which are going to experience change, making them even more of a commitment.

So in writing this blog, I thought that someone must have written about this topic before. A quick google search and yep, lots of discussion on boundaries. (No surprise, a lot of posts on Oprah’s site). I came across this business blog by David Taylor. He actually has some pretty decent tips in his blog focused on productivity. (I couldn’t direct you to an Oprah site, my wife Katie would never stop teasing me).

However, the insight that has surfaced for me, is the need to figure out what the boundaries are before I make the initial commitment. To think through my existing commitments across each of the other pods and what I truly have the capacity to do. Otherwise, I’m just going to continue scrambling to follow through on what I said, “no”, to doing in the first place.

This doesn’t come easy to me. My friend Austin reminds me that I am not a squirrel. (Doing one thing at a time).

“I get by with a little help from my friends”

For the past two weeks, the Beatles song, With A Little Help from My Friends, has been running through my head on repeat.

I think it surfaced while I was planning to celebrate another birthday this past week. (Plus, I’m pretty sure I haven’t watched any episodes of the Wonder Years on Nick at Nite.)

The song comes with great memories. Katie put it on a mixtape for me when she went to Indonesia for the summer in 1998 (yes, a mixtape). I wore the tape out listening to our handful of songs that had their own meaning and inside jokes. This one made it on the list because Katie knew early on how important close friendships were to me.

Anyway, I was super excited to get together with some of my closest friends that definitely provided me more than a little help over the years.

  • To hold me accountable to my core values
  • To make me run when I want to walk
  • To listen, but to call me out when it is just bitching and moaning
  • To help me dream about the future and ask, ‘why not?’
  • To reminisce about the past in order to strengthen our connection
  • To make the world feel smaller and my significance feel bigger
  • To make memories by thinking big or keeping it small
  • To keep me from taking myself too seriously
  • To serve as role models
  • To provide energy through laughter (at each other’s expense)
  • To remind me that I’m not a squirrel (a story for another blog)

But I think the most significant insight that has surfaced over the past couple of weeks is not how do I get by with a little help from my friends, but how do I focus on helping others get by, with a little help from me. I think I have room to grow by giving more to others.

I talked this through out loud last week when I was fortunate to be a guest on Candace’s Everyday Joy radio show. She asked, “If you could go back in time and share advice to the 20-year-old Tony, what would I tell myself ?” My response was to be more humble based on the realization over time that life gets more complex as you get older. I don’t know what fantasy land I was living in 1999, but for some reason, I don’t think I realized how much support I was going to need from friends and family over the past 20 years and now going forward.

This birthday served as a great reminder to thank those that help you get by and to think about how you help others along the way in their journey.

I get by with a little help from these friends!

Saturday mornings with Dad at ‘Nobody Cans’

I remember the stories that my family would tell me about how much I would beg to stop at McDonald’s on our long road trips. As soon as I would see the McDonald’s sign, I would call out for a stop at ‘Nobody Cans’!

In 1979, McDonald’s ran an ad campaign with the slogan ‘Nobody can do it like McDonald’s can’. I guess my interest in adverting started at 2-years-old. It an easy connection to make. In a one-minute commercial, I think they say ‘nobody’ over 25 times. (see below)

When I was about 8-years-old, I used to walk around the house with a tape recorder hosting my version of a variety show. I would interview family members, describe random things around the house, and inevitably record the flushing of a toilet. (What 8-year-old boy would not think that was funny?) However, whenever I cut to a break, it was always a McDonald’s commercial that I made up. I would sing a jingle or recite the latest slogan. I actually think the commercials had the most content because they had a clear focus.

Well, my relationship with McDonald’s has continued into fatherhood. I will take the girls over every once in while on Saturday mornings while Katie runs her own errands.

You may be thinking ok, so what? The insight for me is recognizing how precious and meaningful these mornings are for us. We have a blast and the girls recognize it as our thing. We eat and we play. We aren’t in a hurry, we order the same thing, and we have some of the funniest conversations. It’s in this environment that I really feel like a dad. It’s a father-daughter experience and it’s part of our foundation.

The girls were dancing away while taking down the Big Breakfast with Hot Cakes. Don’t worry, they burned it off the next hour in the play place!

And I don’t think I’m alone. The funny thing is that I see a lot of dads and grandparents taking kids to McDonald’s. (You actually don’t see too many moms.) There are definitely the regulars and the older couples that have made Saturday morning at McDonald’s their thing for years. It makes sense, I think this was the place to be back in the day before coffee and bagel shops stormed every corner and created a ginormous market for premium coffee. (I mean, they call it a Latte because it costs a Latte and takes a Latte time to make!)

Anyway, I know it won’t be long before the girls grow out of the McDonald’s Play Place and I’m not sure how long this will be a tradition. That is also why I am counting on creating our own thing at home that I wrote about in Why I asked Santa for a Crepe Maker. I think the McDonald’s experience has highlighted that Saturday mornings are the perfect time to connect with the girls (at least until they are teenagers).

P.S. The latte joke was from a Bud Light radio commercial that was part of the Real Men of Genius campaign, where they saluted Mr. Fancy CoffeeShop CoffeePourer

Also, if you are feeling retro, you can see the 1979 McDonald’s commercial below:

How times have changed on how we view fast food from back then to today.

REMIX: Run your Project Like a Rock Concert

I decided to do a Triathlon this summer and I’ve reverted back to listening to some of my go-to workout music during training. I came across the same album that inspired me to publish an article in Consulting Magazine back in January of 2014 called, Run Your Project like a Rock Concert. At the time, our firm focused on increasing brand awareness and I thought it would be a fun connection to write about.

I truly can’t believe it has already been 5 years since I wrote the article. However, I don’t think a lot has changed in how I approach projects. So I thought I would remix it a little bit and publish it as part of this Mixing Pods blog. I hope you and enjoy it!

Run your Project Like a Rock Concert

By Tony Mauro
Jan 7, 2014 (remixed April 2019)

I was recently on a run listening to one of my favorite live albums, “Alive,” by Daft Punk. However, this time I found myself not just listening to the music, but listening to how the crowd responded, the transitions between songs, and timing of the drops and climaxes. My mind then started wandering to my work, and I began thinking about the project that I am leading.

Although I would argue that my project isn’t quite as entertaining as a rock concert, I found myself drawing the correlation between the two, and realizing that while partnering with a client, we are putting on an incredible show. It is a large project, spanning a number of months, with numerous stakeholders. My job is to help the ‘artist’ keep the energy going, so that when they go-live, the client is given a standing ovation and asked for an encore.

We commonly use music terms in the workplace, such as Orchestrate, Rhythm, Harmony, and Tempo. But unlike studio singles that are remastered and perfected, leading a major project is like putting on a live concert. No concert is the same, and the artists have to adapt, deal with the elements, and make sure they don’t lose the crowd. On your project you have to make adjustments and improvise, while maintaining scope and keeping stakeholders engaged. Just like a production crew, you have to get the most out of your resources.

Your Project Kickoff

The first song at a show is designed to be exciting and bring the crowd from a state of relaxation to their feet. Your project kickoff meetings and are similar—you need to bring up the energy, get the team excited, and set the tone. If you don’t generate the excitement up front, your team could head for the exits before you get to any of the big hits. Think about the songs that are used at sporting events to get the crowd going between plays or before the puck drops. They have some oomph!

To launch a project successfully, you need to have the right people invited and ensure everyone understands WHY the team is going to tackle the project and their role in its success. Just like the band on stage, you can’t have four lead singers, three lead guitarists, or two drummers on your project. The executive sponsor should be there to fulfill his or her role of showing unwavering support, as well as explaining the relationship between the project and the corporate strategy. Take the time to ensure each person at the kickoff understands how they are going to contribute throughout the entire project. Kickoffs work best at an offsite location, somewhere fresh to get your participants outside of their comfort zone and the grind of the typical business day. Show that the project will be exciting and that the team should be proud of being a part of it.

Have you ever been to a concert where the crowd was not engaged? In business, we call this not being aligned with expectations.

I recently heard about a John Mayer show, where he was ripping it up on guitar, and some people said it was unbelievable—but my friend who attended the concert expected to sing along with the songs she knew. Similarly, allowing for team participation in business situations is key to a project’s success. Make sure your team and stakeholders are clear on the project goals and what success looks like. Otherwise, they will disengage and will allocate their time to other initiatives. You want all their attention focused on the project. Can you really do anything else when you are at a rock concert?

Keeping the Team Engaged

A common complaint you hear in business is one about the lack of communication among leadership and team members. However, keeping the team engaged in the project is more than communication; it is really about maintaining the momentum. Be sure to celebrate mid-term milestones and recognize individual and team accomplishments. It is also critical to be “real” with the team when facing current realities and challenges. The audience has their favorite songs and each person likes different aspects of the show, so utilize a variety of ways to connect with the team and stakeholders. Lastly, sometimes less is more and you don’t need to smother participants with communications, but activities need to be relevant, show progress and be pointed in the right direction.

Preparation

A great concert doesn’t just happen, and an artist doesn’t just walk up to the venue and start rocking out. It takes months of planning by a number of people for a two-hour show from the logistics, marketing, staging and lighting, wardrobe, and so forth. The artists lay out the set list to spread out the popular songs and ensure there is a good flow from start to finish.

Your project will also take months of planning by yourself and others. It takes more than just the project manager to execute a successful project, and you can’t do it alone. There will be discovery, business case analysis, impact assessments, and pre-project planning before you even launch the project. Enlist executive sponsors and ensure all the required functions will provide the resources and time it is really going to require. However, it’s following through on your vision that will be critical. You have to care about it more than anyone.

The vast majority of popular music follows a verse and chorus structure, with the repetitive chorus communicating the theme of the song. When artists play live, they can stop singing and let the crowd take over, because the chorus is always simple and easy to sing.

This crowd participation analogy applies to your project. Can your stakeholders recite your key messages if you were to give them the microphone? The messages have to be clear, relevant, and compelling enough to get behind. My clients always requests the most simple and intuitive communications for their teams, and if the mark is missed, communications are rewritten.

Rhythm and Pace

Even the most popular bands have to give cues to the crowd, clapping their hands above their heads, encouraging the audience to join them. The stage crew flashes the lights on the crowd, prompting them to react. As the project lead, you also must proactively engage your team members and key stakeholders when you need them to take an active role and increase participation. 

On the flip side, artists also sprinkle in some softer songs into their set list and carefully time intermissions. Your project will have quiet times when you need to regroup and rest in preparation for the next big milestone. It is important to plan for how you are going to manage the project lulls and workload intensive times. Celebrate the successes along the way, and give your team an intermission if required, so they can be more focused in the future.

Van Morrison is the only artist that I am aware of that can get away with just playing the songs on stage and not sharing a story or spending some time talking to the crowd. Your project is also a social outlet; you want your project team and stakeholders to enjoy working on it. Ensure to make time for team outings and opportunities for the team to get to know each other on a personal level. The project team is establishing strong connections and a network that will last long beyond the conclusion of the project.

The Insight

So the next time you have a chance to go to a live show or listen to a live album, pay attention to the crowd. Look at how the artists have organized their setlist, the props they use, and how they are managing the audience. Look around at all the production planning and deliberate structure put in place to make it a good show.

Most importantly, pay close attention to the passion the artist is putting into their craft and think about how you can lead your next project like a rock concert.