@dad – Page 2 – Mixing Pods

Did she just say the class of 2032?

That was the question (which I already knew the answer), that I asked my wife Katie at Maggie’s pre-school continuation. Yep, our oldest is heading into kindergarten next year. And then, just as I started getting my head around that, a quick glance down in my lap and the realization that makes Addie the class of 2034!

Holy Moly!

So over the next 13-15 years, Katie and I, (along with many of you reading this blog) will be active in helping shape who these smart, fun, and energetic little ladies are today, into the women they will become.

It’s baffling to think how much they’ll learn between now and the time they graduate. Not just about the world around them, but in who they are deep inside and who they want to be their future.

Class of 2032! Currently wants to be a hair dresser, but is discovering her engineering talents

One thing for sure, the world will be a lot different. When my parents graduated high-school (1957 & 1958), Elvis Presley was at the top of the music charts, the average cost of a new house was $12,220.00, and a gallon of gas was 24 cents.

When Katie and I graduated (1995 & 1996), songs like TLC’s “Waterfalls”, Montell Jordon’s, “This is how we do it”, were topping the charts and the average cost of a new house was $113,150.00 and a gallon of gas was $1.09. (P.S. As many great memories I have from this time in my life, a quick google search will remind you it was just as politically charged as today and filled with many unfortunate and tumultuous world events.)

Future class of 2034. The class clown is so empathetic and caring, I’m sure will find herself in a compassion related career

By the time these girls are getting ready to graduate, they may not need to learn how to drive a car and they may talk to their friends telepathically. Who knows what the college landscape will look like by then? (an area I think it about to get majorly disrupted in the coming years). I hope they are fortunate to form the kind of lifelong friendships that Katie and I were able to during this time as well.

Although so many things in the world will change between now and then, there will be many things that will stay the same. There will still be laughter and joy, conflict and disagreements. There will be a need for leaders to emerge and rally others around important causes. There will be people that care and those that need to be cared for. There will always be a need for connection and the need to love and feel loved.

So I go back to an activity that I did in Daddy Boot Camp 5 years ago (yes, I went to that upon Katie’s strong recommendation). The activity was to write down two words that you want your kids to describe you with when they adults. Mine were engaged and supportive.

So over the next decade and a half, I think that if I stay the course with those two words and are engaged and supportive of the girls, they will be well positioned to celebrate their graduations and ready to explore their next steps based on their own unique and genuine world view.

Preschool continuation for Maggie in 2019! Watch out future, these girls are coming for you!

Saturday mornings with Dad at ‘Nobody Cans’

I remember the stories that my family would tell me about how much I would beg to stop at McDonald’s on our long road trips. As soon as I would see the McDonald’s sign, I would call out for a stop at ‘Nobody Cans’!

In 1979, McDonald’s ran an ad campaign with the slogan ‘Nobody can do it like McDonald’s can’. I guess my interest in adverting started at 2-years-old. It an easy connection to make. In a one-minute commercial, I think they say ‘nobody’ over 25 times. (see below)

When I was about 8-years-old, I used to walk around the house with a tape recorder hosting my version of a variety show. I would interview family members, describe random things around the house, and inevitably record the flushing of a toilet. (What 8-year-old boy would not think that was funny?) However, whenever I cut to a break, it was always a McDonald’s commercial that I made up. I would sing a jingle or recite the latest slogan. I actually think the commercials had the most content because they had a clear focus.

Well, my relationship with McDonald’s has continued into fatherhood. I will take the girls over every once in while on Saturday mornings while Katie runs her own errands.

You may be thinking ok, so what? The insight for me is recognizing how precious and meaningful these mornings are for us. We have a blast and the girls recognize it as our thing. We eat and we play. We aren’t in a hurry, we order the same thing, and we have some of the funniest conversations. It’s in this environment that I really feel like a dad. It’s a father-daughter experience and it’s part of our foundation.

The girls were dancing away while taking down the Big Breakfast with Hot Cakes. Don’t worry, they burned it off the next hour in the play place!

And I don’t think I’m alone. The funny thing is that I see a lot of dads and grandparents taking kids to McDonald’s. (You actually don’t see too many moms.) There are definitely the regulars and the older couples that have made Saturday morning at McDonald’s their thing for years. It makes sense, I think this was the place to be back in the day before coffee and bagel shops stormed every corner and created a ginormous market for premium coffee. (I mean, they call it a Latte because it costs a Latte and takes a Latte time to make!)

Anyway, I know it won’t be long before the girls grow out of the McDonald’s Play Place and I’m not sure how long this will be a tradition. That is also why I am counting on creating our own thing at home that I wrote about in Why I asked Santa for a Crepe Maker. I think the McDonald’s experience has highlighted that Saturday mornings are the perfect time to connect with the girls (at least until they are teenagers).

P.S. The latte joke was from a Bud Light radio commercial that was part of the Real Men of Genius campaign, where they saluted Mr. Fancy CoffeeShop CoffeePourer

Also, if you are feeling retro, you can see the 1979 McDonald’s commercial below:

How times have changed on how we view fast food from back then to today.

Insight: Approach life like a 2-year-old eating an ice cream cone!

There is really no one more genuine than a young child, period! I’m sure everyone reading this blog, especially parents already knew that.

In one of my all-time favorite TED Talks, The 3 A’s of Awesome, Neil Pasricha uses the example of a 3-year-old when talking about attitude, awareness, and authenticity. He urges us to find our inner 3-year-old as we engage the world with curiosity.

Katie and I are fortunate to be in this phase of life with our two girls and it is so much fun. Their expressions are priceless, they say what comes to mind, and they truly use all 5 senses to explore the world.

So in our adventures last weekend, we came across an ice cream shop. (Someone in our family has a serious sweet tooth). It was just a couple of weeks ago that I blogged about exploring joy. Does anything convey joy better than a kid eating ice cream?

Well, our 2-year-old, Addie, didn’t lollygag when it came to choosing the ice cream. She went with her go-to flavor, Chocolate. (must be dad’s influence, my brother-in-law does call me the ‘Chocolate Hammer’).

However, Addie was very clear that she wanted the ‘mermaid cone’ (sugar cone) and passed on the cake and waffle cone options. After a few well-rounded licks of the chocolate ice cream, she flipped it over and dove right into the bottom of the cone.

It was funny, but it was also a parental learning moment:

Do we jump in to show the ‘proper way’ to eat the ice cream cone?
Do we intervene so she doesn’t get ice cream on her clothes?
Do we try and explain gravity to a 2-year-old?
Do we get worried about the inevitable mess that is about to be on the table?
Do we try and stop what we know is not going to end well?

or…

Do we just let her go for it?
- Eat the cone however you want – It’s half of the experience
- Get dirty – We can wash your clothes (and the table and chairs)
- Let them stare – Be you girl!
- It’s just ice cream – let’s not take ourselves too seriously

But the real the insights go way beyond the ice cream cone. There are life lessons here. If you take a moment and watch a 2-year-old eat an ice cream cone, you will notice:

They are curious
They are happy
They are present
They are focused
They are satisfied
They are not alone
They are not worried about what people think
They are content

Sounds a lot like how I want to live life

They are messy
They sometimes need help
They learn that sometimes it’s too much
They learn that it comes to an end
They learn that scarcity makes it special
They learn that they are fortunate
They learn that it can be taken away
They learn that too much gives them a stomach ache

Sounds a lot like life

Ohh I know this may be taking the ice cream metaphor a bit far. But it did make me (and now you), pause for a minute and think about how something as simple as a kid eating an ice cream cone can be a way to approach our life.

And maybe next time we will get a cup and put the cone on top. Or who knows, maybe just go for the whole bucket.

Don’t worry, she really didn’t eat the whole bucket 🙂

Checkpoint: How are you doing with your goals and that one word for 2019?

So it’s already March 31st, the last day of the first quarter of the year (dang that went fast!). It’s time for a checkpoint on those goals that we set for the year and how we are doing on that one word for 2019 that we talked about on January 1st.

Commitment. That was my one word for 2019. I also posted a blog in December on why having fun at work would be a top goal in 2019. I’m doing pretty good so far (this blog is still getting posted), and there is always room for more fun.

However, those that know me well (or have picked up on it by reading this blog) know that I am a goal fanatic. I love setting goals, creating sub-goals, grouping goals, prioritizing goals, and talking about goals. I sort of treat personal goals like Wayne Gretzky treated hockey goals.

” You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
Wayne Gretzky

My take is that it costs you nothing to set a goal. So why not put a goal out there if it is something you are thinking about achieving. Goals can be dynamic and might change season to season.

So my 2019 word, commitment, has developed into more of a theme that applies to the goals across 4 categories: Family, Work, Community, and Personal. (Commitment to …)

To measure progress, I take a simple color-based approach to see how I am doing and where to refocus my energy. I score myself as either ‘green’, ‘yellow’, ‘red’, and a new label of ‘blue’.

Green = On Track – Making progress and hitting milestones
Yellow = Need to Recommit – Put more energy and focus on it
Red = Way off Track – Totally Refocus or Evaluate if it was the right goal
Blue = Eliminate = The goal it was DOA (Dead on Arrival)

This past week, I listened to Seth Godin’s, The Dip and he talks about ‘strategic quitting’. So for those goals in red, determining if it is worth persevering get through the dip or if it’s a cul-de-sac, and the goal is a dead end. Should that goal that is in red, be turned to blue? It’s a quick read/listen, so I won’t dive too deep into Seth’s book here, but I highly recommend checking it out.

The good news is tomorrow is April 1st. We have an opportunity to start the next quarter off fresh and it’s a perfect time to do an assessment to determine if you had the right goals to start with or not. How are you doing with that one word you set at the beginning of the year?

Take some time to celebrate your successes and ways to keep the momentum in areas where you are on track. Determine if you need to make some minor adjustments or totally refocus in the areas you aren’t makeing progress. Or lastly, the insight from this blog may be evaluating if it is time to ‘quit’ a goal or think through a word that is a better fit.

There is no need to beat yourself up if you are not on track because no matter how awesome you are, even you can’t change the past. And if you never set a goal in the first place, why not start today? You have nothing to lose.

Addie’s version of writing down her goals!

Picking a snowball fight with your grandma!

We had a steady stream of snow storms in Colorado during February, many coming in on the weekend. This meant that on the following Mondays, which are ‘Nani days’ (our girls call my mom Nani), there would be snow on the ground for a snowball battle.

These battles take place when we are leaving my parents house, after dinner, when it is dark and cold outside. Temperature doesn’t seem to matter and I think the girls get an adrenaline rush that makes them invisible to the cold.

It only lasts a few minutes, with a few opportunities to reload. I am asked to be the official snowball maker.

So after the initial snowball battle, we had settled into the car seats and I was reversing out of the driveway. The girls were still giggling in the pure joy of ‘winning’ the snowball fight and warming their hands in their blankets.

Nani’s snowball left it’s mark on the window!

Then wham! A snowball bursts across the windshield with a big thud. The girls go quiet for a second, and then Maggie says, “Nani just blasted the car!”. And then another hits the window. This time followed by “Let’s get out of here, Nani is really good at throwing snowballs!”

As I was driving us home, with the girls, the insight for this blog hit me.

Never pass on an opportunity to have a snowball fight with your grandma!
Mixing Pod Insight

These moments in life don’t and won’t happen every day. Embrace them and celebrate them when you can!

Is it time for a road trip?

The past 4 weeks have been incredibly busy and I have been mixing in another pod, my altMBA cohort. Saturday is reflection day.

This weekend we took a little road trip up to Glenwood Springs to watch the high school musical production of Mamma Mia! We were there to support my sister Lisa, who puts her heart in soul into engaging with her students. We were definitely due for a family trip and my parents joined us for the 4-hour car ride.

For me, road trips are less about rest and relaxation and more about connection, presence, and reflection.

Long car rides allow us the time to connect with others about things on our mind, as well as, provide an opportunity to dive a bit deeper. It also gives us time to listen without distractions (of course while focusing on the road). The good news is that the other person can’t run away from the difficult ones. Their verbal and non-verbal queues (like turning up the radio) let you know if they are into it or not. Katie and I have talked over a lot of our dreams, goals, and our futures together on the highway.

Our girls Maggie and Addie can’t get enough traveling and it doesn’t matter where we are going. They love the snacks in the car, the occasional stops, and of course the hotels (especially if there is a pool). These trips provide an excellent opportunity to be present and focused on experiencing an adventure together. Getting all of us out of daily routines and focusing on each other. I’m starting to realize PTO doesn’t stand for Paid Time Off, but Present Time On. This is where those boundaries become so damn important.

I also use road trips as a time to reflect and give extra thought to those ideas that have been incubating and just need a little bit more of my attention. Not in a to-do list sort of way, but in a way that allows my mind to wander the outskirts of the idea. I surround it with other thoughts that act as catalysts. The open road provides a reminder of this vast world and an opportunity to be grateful for so much in our lives.

So if you are going through a major change in your life or just need some time to reset, maybe a road trip is what you need to get your mojo back. Or maybe you just need some time to be present with others or even just some space by traveling alone. There is so much for you to explore outside and in the inside!

*Maggie and Addie LOVE their road trips. I hope to see this picture 20, 30, and 40 years from now!*

What is your one word for 2019?

This is the sister blog (if that is a thing) to my Perficient Blog (What is the one word that will define success in 2019!) In that blog, I tied this concept to business strategy and operating model metrics. However, since Jensen makes fun of me for using business speak in the ‘friends pods’, I thought I would tailor this to be much more personal.

I have definitely been in a transitional phase over the past couple of years, making a significant move from being work-centered to family-centered. I think this phase was at its peak towards the end of 2016. Maggie was 2 years-old, and Addie was born that September. It’s not that I was I was a dead beat dad or husband, but I was still getting used to staying present and focused on the family throughout the evening. I used to put in a lot of time in the evenings making sure all of my client and firm deliverables were completed to my satisfaction. I was finding myself gasping at the end of the night when I looked at the clock and realized how tired I was. Things had changed.

Over that Thanksgiving, I read Angela Duckworth’s book Grit, the Power of Passion and Perseverance. She talks about how to build grit and the need for an “ultimate concern”, which is a supreme goal that is so meaningful to you that it provides structure and discipline to everything you do. She described a method for gaining focus by listing 25 goals, circling the top 5 and avoiding all others at all costs, while discovering themes. Her hierarchical approach of rolling up low level and mid level goals to the ultimate concern really resonated with me.

At the time, all of my goals and the ultimate concern at the top of my hierarchy ended up bringing out the word ‘engaged’. I covered my four goal categories in the blog a couple of days ago, Why having fun will be my top work goal in 2019! I could assess everything that I was doing in every aspect to my life in that moment to the word engaged. The best part is that I could quickly get back on track if I found myself not being present or missing an opportunity if necessary.

It started off being something to focus me on work/life balance and being engaged with the kids. But I also found that I was using it to assess if I was engaged with my work, team members, and clients.

I think this approach is way more productive than doing New Year’s resolutions. So I recommend taking some time to think about it. Lay out your goals and see what theme surfaces and the one word that sums it up. There is no right or wrong word, you just have to describe a meaningful word to you. A word that describes how you want to show up every day. Then do it! Everything else will fall into place.

This year, my word is ‘commitment’. I’ve signed up to do a lot and I have some ambitious goals. I’m going to need some serious commitment and discipline to maintain the right balance and get the results that I’m striving to achieve. I’ll need some help. It’s important to engage others in this so that they can be in your corner, help you stay focused, and keep you accountable (not to be confused with judging).

So what will your word be:

Creativity?
Kindness?
Focus?
Discipline?

You may have one for work, one for your family, or it can all be the same. But at the end of the day, it’s kind of like the “one thing” that Curly is referencing in the 1991 movie, City Slickers. It’s your one word.

Why I asked Santa for a Crepe Maker?

The big guy came through and Santa brought me that crepe maker that I wanted this year. It might seem like a random thing for a 40-year-old guy to ask for (not that 40-year-old asking for something from Santa isn’t), but it was with purpose.

Katie and I were on a trip to Seattle this summer and took a ferry over to Bainbridge Island one morning. We ended up choosing the crepe shop to grab a bite. There was a fairly long line, so we had front row seats to watch them make them.

I was thinking…

There is a ton of variety and you can go sweet or savory
They are made to order for each individual
They cook fast
They look fun to make with the spreader and turner
What else can I use gobs of Nutella on?

and that’s when it hit me… I was going to make crepe making my thing. I could turn it into a Saturday morning family ritual when we are not in a hurry to get to get the kids to school and off to work. When the kids are older, we can make them with their friends after a sleep over.

Maybe it was just me getting nostalgic. Making breakfast was my dad’s thing growing up. He made pancakes and waffles for us growing up all the time, especially on weekends for all of our friends. He made some really great blueberry pancakes and I always liked the maple walnut Belgium waffle. However, he was also known to put all sorts of things in the pancakes, including what we had the night before for dinner (mashed potatoes, cheese, and the infamous pork and beans). It is definitely a great memory from my childhood and one that I wanted to start creating with my own family.

So we broke the seal the other morning and gave it a try. After tossing out the first batter (I read the waffle batter instructions) and overcooking the first crepe, I had officially made my first crepe. Of course it was the simple banana and Nutella crepe.

It turns out that making crepes is going to be an art that I’ll need to work on over time! Figuring the timing on flipping the crepe, how to fold them, what is better inside vs. outside etc. I’ve never been known for my creativity and artistic finesse. The good news, is that the girls are only 2 and 4-years-old, so I have lots of Saturday mornings to practice!

*My First Crepe (Don’t judge a book by it’s cover)*

The day it all changed… well, actually it was the day after.

It wasn’t the day my daughter was born that changed my life, it was the day after when I had the chance to bond with her one-on-one for the first time.

Maggie was born on July 15th at 7:14 am. Her first day in this world was full of so much excitement. Her first breaths, her first feeding, her first poop, and she met so many members of her new family.

Katie hadn’t slept 45 hours or so (you know, giving birth and all) and was finally getting the most well deserved rest of her life. Well sort of, I think she had feeding every 2 hours that night and was constantly checking to ensure she was breathing.

So on the morning of the 16th about 7:00 am, just 24 hours after coming into the world, it was the first time it was just Maggie and me awake.

The room was quiet and only natural light from the summer sun was coming through the window. She just looked up at me and smiled. Maybe it was just gas, but it sure felt real to me.

This is the day my world changed!

Everything changed. My relationship with Katie changed (in a great way), the way I approached work changed, what stressed me out changed, and my compass was re-calibrated.

I don’t have the best memory, but this is one day that I can recall vividly from all 5 senses. It’s been a really fun 4 and half years, but the funny thing is that the impacts of the day that I became a dad (and the day after) have really just begun.

Another ingredient in my mixing bowl.